Today is my NMO anniversary, kind of. It was today, 3 years ago that I had an MRI and a neurologist called to tell me I have MS. Unfortunately, he was wrong. I actually didn’t remember it was the anniversary until a ‘memory’ post popped up on Facebook reminding me.
Off topic for a minute, 9 weeks ago my partner had an accident off his push bike. It was catastrophic. As his body mends from the multitude of injuries, it is apparent now that he is a paraplegic. How utterly devastating for him, for me, for his family and for everyone that knows Clint. He is not your ‘sitting down’ kind of guy. He needs to be busy, he needs to be helping someone. Now he is learning to accept help.
On our second date I took Clint mountain biking. He almost died from exhaustion. But it was something we did together. This year, we cycled Gibb River Road together. What an adventure. Now the bike, our favourite pastime together, has taken so much away. We are both devastated. I feel a little guilty. Clint so lovingly cared for me when I was sick. My disease sucks but allowed me to improve (even if only temporarily). Clint’s seems so permanent. Now it’s my turn to help him through. I know he will power on through, but I’m also worried about the challenges he faces. I know the tiniest bit about the obstacles and the discrimination that he is yet to encounter. I so badly want to protect him from that, but I also know he’ll be fine.
Back to my anniversary. I’m glad Facebook reminded me, but it also stirred up a lot of emotions. On the one hand, I’m elated that I powered through the last 3 years and wasn’t really hindered too much by my disease. Looking back on the amazing things we did the last 3 years makes me happy and with no regrets, I learned to walk normally again, I learned to write again, I rode the Gibb twice, I completed triathlons, climbed too many stairs, won netball and volleyball finals, had amazing holidays and so much more, I am blessed as much as I am unlucky. Hoping the next 3 years are full of just as much fun and adventures for both Clint and I. But, I’m also terrified, saddened, worried, (insert other emotions here, can’t really put it into words) about what the future holds for me and us. I used to feel so incredibly guilty that I was sick, that I was holding Clint back. Now I feel guilty that I improved so much.
Anyway, celebration time none the less. These arsehole lesions, Evanora and Theodora (wicked witch or east and west) have a birthday to celebrate. I am celebrating not letting them hold me back for 3 years. Cake and champagne all round! Sorry Evanora and Theodora, you won’t be getting any more brother or sister lesions. You two are more then enough for me!
If anyone wants to donate to help with modifying our house to be wheelchair accessible: http://www.chuffed.org/project/clints-campaign
With Thanks and Much Love